


from the bottom of your heart

by merlypops



Series: 5SOS Song Oneshots [25]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Depression, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Healing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: It hurt that Luke was this broken now; that he’d been through so much pain that refusing to acknowledge his love at all had seemed like a safer bet. Calum took it in his stride through. He accepted Luke’s jagged edges and hard lines because the younger mandeservedgoodness… because he hadn’t gone past the point of no return… because – very deep down – he was still the boy Calum had fallen in love with.Luke is sad and cold but Calum's love keeps him warm.Based on “One For The Road” by Arctic Monkeys.





	from the bottom of your heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maluminspace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maluminspace/gifts).



> because I love Laura to pieces and she always inspires me <3
> 
> Hey guys! Kind of set myself this as a writing exercise because I literally never write Cake but then I made it pretty angsty so I'm sorry about that... but it has a happy ending I promise!  
> I really hope this doesn't suck because I find these two ridiculously difficult to write :')  
> (Also I wrote this in half an hour so if it's horrible I'm sorry.)

_**The mixture hits you hard.** _

_**Don't get that sinking feeling.** _

_**Don't fall apart.** _

 

Luke had changed a lot over the past year.

The softness was gone from him now, his laugh rougher and colder. His angular cheekbones were sharp enough to draw blood beneath his long darkening curls and his wild blue eyes were deep enough to fall into.

The drink and drugs hit him harder these days, his skin pale as bone behind the black collar of his leather jacket. He kept his shoulders squared defensively, his jaw clenched, teeth gritted. He only relaxed when he was singing; when he was playing quiet lingering piano music into the silence of their house; when he was lying with Petunia silently on the cold floor, with eyes for no one but her.

Even Calum couldn’t smooth Luke’s hard edges anymore, mostly because he was part of the reason they were there in the first place.

When Luke had fallen for him, it had been rough and painful. A lot of the younger man’s softness had crumbled away in those first months, when self-acceptance and love were too difficult to grasp. He’d been prickly and cold, even more detached than when Arzaylea had left him torn open and exposed.

It hurt that Luke was this broken now; that he’d been through so much pain that refusing to acknowledge his love at all had seemed like a safer bet. Calum took it in his stride through. He accepted Luke’s jagged edges and hard lines because the younger man _deserved_ goodness… because he hadn’t gone past the point of no return… because – very deep down – he was still the boy Calum had fallen in love with.

Luke was still beautiful. He was still kind and sweet whenever he allowed his walls to come down. He still giggled at his bandmates’ ridiculous jokes and had a secret soft spot for penguins. He still loved jamming with Michael and going on late-night walks with Ashton, and spending every minute he had left with his boyfriend.

He liked morning runs with Calum and the way they showered together afterwards. He liked Calum’s scrambled eggs and how the older man petted his soft curly hair while Luke was Facetiming his family. He liked swimming in the ocean with Calum and playing with Petunia on the beach, and the appreciative sounds his boyfriend made when Luke dressed up pretty, just for him.

The only thing that had changed now was how Calum had to cheer Luke up when he was sad.

Once upon a time, a new cuddly toy and a movie night would’ve been enough but it was partying that his boyfriend preferred now; the pounding bass and Calum’s hands on his hips as he sucked kisses into Luke’s neck, calling him ‘baby’ and promising that everything was going to be okay soon.

Calum knew he couldn’t fix Luke. Sometimes there wasn’t a way to ‘fix’ a person and Calum could accept that now, even if it had hurt at first.

Anaïs Nin was one of his favourite writers and she had a quote that Calum thought about a lot whenever his worry for Luke almost outweighed his affection:

‘ _You cannot save people. You can only love them._ ’

The more time Calum spent with Luke, the more he realised it was true and how – thank _god_ – his love seemed to be enough.

On bad days, he was the only one who could get Luke out of bed; get him washed and dressed; get him eating food and playing music again.

Calum had always been best at coaxing those shy smiles out of his boyfriend and it was the same now, no matter how difficult things got.

Luke still melted Calum’s insides.

He still made the older man’s dimples crease his cheeks impossibly deep when the infectious grins spread across Luke’s pale face.

Calum was still falling for Luke like a comet, plummeting straight to earth with no hope of stopping –

But Calum didn’t _want_ to stop because Luke’s eyes might have been harder now but, sometimes when Calum kissed him sweet enough, the younger man turned soft again and the smiles on his face shone like the sun.

Calum had never lost him after all.

Luke was still right where he needed to be and Calum wasn’t letting go.

Not when he loved him so much that he might burst with it.

Not then.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I really, really hope this is okay :)


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